Mom First, Friend Forever

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  • A Pause in the Journey: Saying Goodbye to my Brother

    It’s been a while since I last posted—over a month, in fact. May turned out to be a very difficult month for me and my family. On May 6, my older brother Ron passed away suddenly in his sleep. He lived out in Vancouver, and his passing was completely unexpected. I’ve gone back and forth on whether I wanted to share this here, since this space is usually dedicated to my travels and experiences with my mom, who has Alzheimer’s. But Ron was such a big part of our lives, and it feels right to acknowledge him here.

    Ron looking over the falls at Otterville

    We held a beautiful celebration of life for Ron on May 18 at Mohawk Park. It was a warm and emotional gathering, with family and friends—many of whom we hadn’t seen in years—coming together to remember him. Some of Ron’s old friends were especially touched that my mom recognized them. Her long-term memory is still quite strong, which explains that small but meaningful moment. Sadly, she doesn’t remember that Ron has passed. Each time it comes up, we have to tell her again, and that’s honestly the hardest part of all of this.

    • Ron looking over Bannister Lake – one of my fav pics
    • Ron, Me and Rick
    • Ron And the Grandkids –

    Ron hadn’t been able to visit home in the past few years due to COVID and some health issues, but whenever he did, we always made sure to set aside a full day just for the two of us. I’ll miss those days deeply—our long chats, the laughter, the video calls, and the inside jokes we shared.

    Be at peace, Ron. I miss you more than words can say.

  • Cruisin Thru Time Part 2

    Water and water sports have been a large part of our lives. I believe for me, it all stems back to when I young and we spent so much of our summers at my grand-parents cottage on Rice Lake. Swimming, boating and skiing (well for everyone but me) Mom was a great water-skier but she could never get me up on skis. I really loved when my grandfather would take us out in the boat and speed around the lake. Nothing felt better then the sun shining down and the wind blowing in our face. Below is the view from our Cottage, any wonder we fell in love with water.

    For my mom I think it started long ago as can be seen by this honeymoon photo. Yes that is Mom and Dad in Florida on their honeymoon. I love this picture of them.

    For my whole life whenever there was an option to spend time near or on water we did so. Last post talked about a river cruise in Quebec. There is a cruise that goes from Kingston or Gananoque that travels through the thousand islands. Mom and Dad took us the first time when we were young, even went to Boldt Castle – was so great. We have done that cruise a few times since. Most recently Mom and I did it when we went to Kingston and took the dinner cruise was so much fun.

    There was entertainment for most of the trip and at the end the Captain came out and sang Sweet Caroline and got quite a good response from the diners.

    The river cruise is beautiful as well – lots of opportunity for photography. And the food, oh my was that great.

    A few years previous Mom, Dad and I took a similar trip and we all went on the river cruise again but for the lunch trip. More opportunity for photos and it was great to travel with both Mom and Dad on this trip

    My favourite pic of the trip was this of my parents eating on the patio of a restaurant down from our hotel

    As an added bonus here is a few photos of Mom and Dad and as you can see water does play a part in much of what we do when we travel. I miss Dad and am so glad that I have these memories of them both they were so good together.

  • Cruisin Thru Time

    • Lets go way back….

      Teresa

      •

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    Yep that is way back – back to when I was 18 and Mom and I went on our first trip together. And yes that is a perm – the popular poodle hair cut of the time. LOL

    Mom and I went to Quebec for my 18th birthday. It was for a couple of reason, we love Quebec, it’s not to far away and the drinking age was 18 in Quebec but 19 in Ontario.

    We had a great time and there is three distinct memories of that trip.

    The first is when we went shopping in lower Quebec. We took the bus down and it is so lovely. Old stone buildings and wonderful quaint shops. But what both Mom and I remember the most was waiting for the bus back to our hotel. Standing there with our purchases, a 6ft kite for my brother, a large doll for a friend, a bell, a bottle of wine and a very heavy soap stone of a standing bear for my dad. Very awkward but we managed to get it all to the hotel with no issues. Thank goodness.

    My Birthday Dinner

    For my 18th birthday dinner we went to a lovely restaurant – Cafe de la Paix (which unfortunately is closed now) but the memories of that night are still clear in our minds.

    We were welcomed by a Italian maître d’ , had the most adorable french waiter and we were so lucky to be in the room with a mexican harpist.

    The image is of the restaurant (not my image) and we were in the front room there. The harpist in front of the window and when he found out it was my birthday he sang Bésame mucho to me. Could anyone have a better birthday

    The final memory I will share, is that of the boat cruise we took down the St Lawrence – it was evening and we traveled from Quebec down the river through all the islands. It was a lovely night as we wandered around the ship, watching the lights on shore and we got a bit of a surprise. We circled around the end of the ship to some music and people “dancing”

    Dada Dada Dada Da

    Dada Dada Dada Da

    Dada Dada Dada da

    da da da da …

    If you don’t get it from that, then think of people flapping their arms and clapping .. yep you got it – The Chicken Dance – the first time we say it and then of course it was at ever wedding we went to after that.

    Make sure you come back for the next post as I will share some more fun times on boat cruises. We do love being on the water.

    This trip was the first of many for Mom and I as we discovered we traveled so well together and though we have had many great adventures since I think we both agree that this was one top 3 trips we took, if not the top 1.

  • Changes in View

    Sunset on Lake Nippissing

    My mother is at what is considered the moderate stage of Alzheimer and this stage you can see more and more changes in how a patient views the world are them. Delusions, hallucinations, confusion and disorientation are some of the key signs of this stage. Like this evening we were watching Mythbusters and when it was over she wanted to know what myth we were busting next. Had to explain we do not shot or blow things up here. LOL Quite often she will mix up what she sees on TV with real life, but luckily most of the time with gentle words i can bring her back to reality. It is so hard to watch the confusion and difficulty she has with understanding what is going on around her.

    Here is a good document that explains what you would see when you or your loved one gets to this stage – Progression – Middle Stage – Alzheimer – I highly recommend reading it if you have anyone around you in or heading to this stage.

    When I was looking at my photos for this post, I looked at the ones below and realized they were such a great visual to explain how things are for mom. Things are familiar – you can trees, flowers etc. but everything is distorted or upside down. I love using my sphere for creative photos which can also help understand what others are seeing.

    My favourite shot of these is the one stuck in the tree and this was an idea of Mom’s as we were walking along a local trail before her Alzhiemers got as bad as now. Did she have an idea of what she would face one day or was she just wonderfully creative. I believe the second as this one not the first or last time she suggested a certain angle or item to shot – she has definitely inspired me to be creative and look at things differently when out with my camera. These photos will always be a memory of her even when she is not in the photo.

  • Creating Lasting Memories with Loved Ones

    I want to start this with a bit of a serious thought about something I have realized since starting this blog. I know that I wanted to create memories with Mom and for the most part I felt I was doing this for me. It is hard to see these memories are not staying with Mom. So I started this blog so I would have something to go back to when Mom no longer can accompany me and as I did, I realized that this is for more then just me, this is for Mom. She may not remember what she did the day before or sometimes even an hour before but not one can deny when looking at this pictures of her that in the moment she was having a grand time.

    So for anyone out there that might think, what is the point of doing things with those who have Alzheimer they won’t remember them. Look at the smiles on Mom’s face and the laughter in her eyes. She is truly living in the moment and you can too with your loved ones. So please get out, share some time with those you love, you will create memories for yourself and joy for your loved one in that moment What could be more important.

    Some of the memories we created when we went to Owen Sound started half way there in a small village called Williamsford – the Williamsford Mill is a awesome place to search for used books and it has a great little cafe there were we shared an amazing BLT. If you go makes sure you grab a couple of Butter tarts – so gooey good.

    We were also lucky that day that a Antique car group was there and they had some really cool cars in the lot.

    We did a lot of driving during this trip – we drove along Georgian Bay and drove over to Lake Huron and we had amazing weather and really got to see a really lovely area of Ontario.

    The best drive we took was along the shoreline between Owen Sound and Wairton. Was so beautiful and so much to see it took us quite a bit more time then the 48mins they said it would.

    So get out there and do some traveling of your own with those you love and if you come across a really good route, please share with me so i can take Mom someplace new.

  • Springtime in Niagara

    Spring is starting to show itself here with typical roller-coaster temperatures and frequent rains but it is a sure sign that nicer weather is on the way. We don’t get out much during the winter, it is a bit risky with Mom with the ice and snow, but now we will start our annual search for signs of spring.

    One of our favourite places to go in the Spring for a few days is Niagara Falls. In 2023 we spent a fun filled few days in Niagara – luckily there is many indoor activities because the weather went from warm and Sunny to cold and grey and back again.

    • Springtime at Niagara Falls
    • Was sunny and warm one day, and then this, grey and chilly

    As we drive the Niagara area, from the Falls to the Whirlpool and down to Niagara on the Lake the signs of spring are everywhere

    • Along the Niagara River, trees blossoming

    Of course we always stop for a glass of wine at one of the many wineries in Niagara. Will have to do a Niagara winery review post one day 🙂 We are lucky to have so many great wineries within a couple of hours of home.

    We love the Butterfly conservatory and that year we also went to Brock Monument which we hadn’t been to for years though we drive by it every time we are in the area. I find it funny how sometimes you bypass famous spots just because they are so familiar.

    We were lucky to also get to meet a these two, I work with her and when we found out she was driving through Niagara we had to arrange a meeting. Unfortunately as you can see they got the grey and chilly day.

    So soon we will be out driving more, finding those pops of colour and the soft greens of spring and will share those drives here of course.

  • Travel to the Past – Sept 2021

    Memories are created everyday and those with Alzheimer can’t retain those current memories. But the older memories, the past they remember. In 2021 Mom and I traveled Ontario – from home to the north and the last stop was the past.

    Some of our fondest memories are the times we were at my Grandparents cottage on Rice Lake, near Peterbourgh. So we spent the last few days of our trip that year in Peterbourgh.

    The cottage was nothing fancy, just a boathouse that was moved and added to. No heating but a big ole beautiful wood burning stove. Indoor plumbing yea but not shower – didn’t need it we had the lake. 🙂 It is long gone now, my grandparents sold it when i was in my late 20’s and it has been torn down and the area built up. So we did not go by the cottage wanted to retain the memories. We did go by some of the areas we always visited.

    So let me take you on a little tour of Peterbourgh and surrounding area. First is Bewdley. This is right on the lake and about 30 mins from the cottage. We would stop here often on the way to the cottage for a ice cream cone and to stretch our legs. I believe the ice cream parlour was in what is now Rhinos.

    On Sundays we would go to a small village close to the cottage for mass. You could tell this was a vacation area church. They were able to get through the whole mass in 15-20 mins.

    Keene

    We would head into Peterbourgh most times we were at the cottage and there were sites we always went to. So on the trip this time we revisited two of our favourite. The lift locks and Little Lake with it fountain that has been running since i was young and probably many years before.

    I talked to Mom today and asked her if she remembered the cottage and she does so clearly. She can’t always remember where the bathroom is but the memories from 30 and 40 years ago are clear. Some of her favourites are us sitting on the dock in the morning, coffee in hand and enjoying the peace and quiet, swimming or water-skiing (her not me on that last one) and just the ability to spend quality time with family. It was our happy place and this trip was a wonderful revisit to the area.

  • Wine and Dine in Windsor

    At first I was going to write about various wineries we have been to over the years. Will still do that, but, when going over my photos i realized that we had some wonderful wining and dining experiences during our trip to Windsor

    • Happy smiles and wine after another day of sightseeing
    • Cheers to travel memories
    • Armando’s – Windsor – Pasta to share

    One evening we went to Armando’s – lovely location right at one of the marina’s. We sat out on the patio as it was such a beautiful evening. Had a glass of Pinot Grigio – i believe it was our favourite, Santa Marguerita and we shared a delicious pasta which was more then enough for us two. As you can see they are very generous with their servings.

    It was a bit amusing – they have basil plants around the patio that they cut fresh for their dishes like the one we had but at this time there was thousands of fish flies and every time the young man tried to get to the basil he was surrounded by them. He eventually snuck around our table and was able to reach over the fence to the plant to get what he needed. Which i was glad as it was for our pasta – penne pasta with tomatoe sauce and fresh basil – mmmmmm

    One of favourite places was Sprucewood Shores Estate Winery. A lovely white wine was enjoyed with a wonderful Charcuterie Board and the most amazing view – over the field to Lake Erie. We sat on the patio but you could take you wine and yummies and wander down to the shore and sit on the benches there. This is one place I would go back to.

    • Coopers Hawk Vineyards – smiles
    • Coopers Hawk Vineyards – Goat Cheese and Beet Salad – so good
    • On the Terrace

    Cooper’s Hawk Vineyards was another day – again weather was wonderful and we sat out on the patio. Sampled their wine and shared a goat cheese and beet salad. We were so lucky during this trip, weather was warm even though it was late September and because it was after the start of school most places we went to were not crowded. This place was a very peaceful place that we truly enjoyed

    And of course we could not be close to Lake Erie and not have a Lake Perch dinner. I believe this was called Dockside but sadly does not appear to be open any longer.

    We took a drive over to Sarnia one day and popped into the casino. Have been here a couple of times, food is truly wonderful. We tried their sliders this time which was great as they were just the right size for us to share. Another lunch on the patio where we watched the sail boats head out to the lake for the afternoon.

    So if you ever visit Windsor you can be assured that you will have lots of options for wining and dining. Explore and enjoy.

  • The Fabulous Fifties

    Mom with a car she fell in love with

    In June of 2024 we spent several days in Windsor and had such a great week. I think for Mom the highlight was when we went to Canadian Transportation Museum & Heritage Village (CTMHV) This was a great place. Had a cool 50’s style diner..

    And had so many old vehicles, some dating back to the 1800’s. But for mom there is nothing better then the cars from the 50’s. These are the cars her family, friends and most important my dad drove around in. To mom these are memories.

    Now for me, i do like these cars but i prefer the even older ones. Those from the 30’s are the ones that make my heart beat faster. They make me think of those old English mysteries like Agatha Christie. There is just something classy about the 30’s cars.

    This is one of those places that is little off the beaten path but so worth the drive. For anyone who has an interest in transportation there is so much to see here from small models to old tractors and so much more cars then you can think about.

  • Back Home

    Sept 2021

    We traveled up north back in Sept 2021, our route took us from home to Sudbury, Timmins, North Bay and Peterbourgh.

    We did a small side trip to take mom back home. She was born in Kirkland Lake – a small mining town near the Quebec border.

    This, we believe, from Mom’s memory was the home she lived in when they were in Kirkland Lake

    Where Mom was born

    Kirkland Lake is and was a mining town. My Grandfather worked at the mines when they lived there. Was nice to come across this memorial to the miners that built this town and the many that lost their lives in the mines.

    Miners Monument – Kirkland Lake
    Miners Memorial – Kirkland Lake

    I have to say that as nice as it was to see where my mom was born, I would not live in a town so far north. It was pretty but i could tell that the winters had to be brutal just by the conditions of some of the roads. The road where Mom’s old house sat, was awful, it was like driving over a a path that had been dug up and mounded up all over the place. They would not have a problem with speeders on these road, you could so easily ruin your car if you tried.

    I think this was one of the best days of the trip for Mom. Although she was already showing signs of Alzheimer she did remember stories from back then and really that was a long way back, Mom was 6 or 7 i believe when they moved from Kirkland Lake to the bustling metropolis of Hamilton.